Respect the New Mom Bubble
Being a first time mom is stressful enough, with the constant feedings, googling what their poop should look like and getting maybe four good hours of sleep a night….week. Then something magical happens, you hit that four week mark and start feeling like yourself, your body is less sore (except the nipples, that comes and goes), you and your baby begin to figure each other out and the best part (at least for me) you finally get to take your new bundle of joy out into the world! Que the music and dance party.
I’m a social person, before child I enjoyed going out, it could be a quick target run or lunch at my favorite sushi place with a good book. I would engage in conversation with the wait staff or check out lady and go about my day without a second thought. Now that we have our little guy it’s a whole different ball game.
First of all getting out of the house takes twice as long and if its a half day or all day project it takes even longer. For example we decided to do a family Zoo trip this past weekend and despite my packing the diaper bag the night before and making muffins to make breakfast a breeze we didn’t leave the house till 7:30 am; our goal was 7… Why you ask? because that sweet bundle of joy threw up on himself three times and me once. We still made it to the Zoo and enjoyed our morning and each other which is all that matters but my point is planning helps but shits still going to go wrong. Luckily we were a few of the early birds and got to zip through the Zoo before the heat killed us and the crowds flooded in.
Going to the store is much easier in terms of having to plan out stuff the night before BUT you now get to face people invading your bubble to look and touch your child. There has been several times I had to stop my inner crazy mom voice from yelling at a sweet old lady for getting too close for comfort. I love hearing how cute he is and you leaning in to get a closer look doesn’t bother me. I’m a proud mama bear walking and enjoying showing off my cub. However don’t touch my baby, it has nothing to do with germs, okay maybe it does a little, but I don’t know you. I’m a new first time mom, I’m allowed to be protective.
Along with not touching my baby (especially his face) please keep your comments to a minimum. When you ask how old he is and I reply 7 weeks, don’t give me that look like I’m a bad mom for taking him out in public already. Please keep your comments about it to yourself too, I had a baby it doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to see the outside world ever again. The worst thing that comes after those looks is the ‘How much weight have you lost since having him?’ question. Why is this an acceptable thing to ask to a complete stranger? While pregnant I was asked how much I gained and now it’s how much I have I lost. Instead how about a ‘You look great for just having a baby’ ,’You’re glowing’, ‘Don’t you just love those first milestone moments?’ ‘Isn’t this weather wonderful?’… Think before you speak. Would you like it if I walked up to you and asked you have much weight you lost since starting your new job? Or how much you’ve gained since you bought your new car? Yes I get it a baby is something different but the question is still not needed.
I’m not trying to complain or sound like a big o’ B. I’m just saying respect the new mom bubble, we’re scared and new to the game. You can crowed me with my second baby but let me figure this motherhood thing out first so I don’t question myself due to your comments.
Also if you are a new mom don’t be afraid to ask them to not touch your kid, tell them to sanitize their hands first or change the subject when the questions become to personable.