Pregnancy Update: 32 Weeks
Honesty Hour—Due to the fact that I never thought I would be granted the gift to carry a child I have become a worry wart. Every step of the way through this pregnancy I have worried. Worried I wasn’t eating enough, worried I was eating to much. Worried I was creating a food allergy for him or that he didn’t like what I was eating and that’s why I had morning sick longer than most women. When I hit 20+ weeks and hadn’t felt him kick yet I worried. Every book I read said I would around then; I read posts, blogs and whatever else I could get my hands on, they all said they had felt movement by then. When we had our second ultrasound I could see him wiggling his little heart out but I couldn’t feel him. When he finally started moving I worried he wasn’t moving enough, if I don’t remember the last time I felt him move I think somethings wrong. Every doctor’s appointment when he puts the blue goo on my belly I worry we won’t hear a heartbeat anymore. That something happened. Something has to be wrong. Then I hear it and everything is okay again. I have a recording on my phone that I’ll play when I start to panic to remind me to stop worrying. I have a supportive partner who always tells me everything is okay and I believe him with my full heart and soul, but here I am 32 weeks pregnant and still I worry. This morning I woke up after a restless night of sleep, Eric came over to me and asked how I felt and the first thing I said is “Peanut hasn’t moved yet”. He smiled and reminded me that I didn’t sleep all night from coughing so I kept him up and he’s just sleeping in. I realize I will worry every day until our son is in my arms. And that I will have a whole new list of things that I will worry about once that day comes. I’m so very thankful that I have a partner in life to remind me to stop worrying, even if I still do it. I hope that by time we are trying for a second child I worry less; if not I know it will be okay because I have a great man by my side.