Pregnancy Update: 32 Weeks

Honesty Hour—Due to the fact that I never thought I would be granted the gift to carry a child I have become a worry wart.  Every step of the way through this pregnancy I have worried.  Worried I wasn’t eating enough, worried I was eating to much.  Worried I was creating a food allergy for him or that he didn’t like what I was eating and that’s why I had morning sick longer than most women.  When I hit 20+ weeks and hadn’t felt him kick yet I worried.  Every book I read said I would around then; I read posts, blogs and whatever else I could get my hands on, they all said they had felt movement by then.  When we had our second ultrasound I could see him wiggling his little heart out but I couldn’t feel him.  When he finally started moving I worried he wasn’t moving enough, if I don’t remember the last time I felt him move I think somethings wrong.  Every doctor’s appointment when he puts the blue goo on my belly I worry we won’t hear a heartbeat anymore.  That something happened. Something has to be wrong.  Then I hear it and everything is okay again.  I have a recording on my phone that I’ll play when I start to panic to remind me to stop worrying.  I have a supportive partner who always tells me everything is okay and I believe him with my full heart and soul, but here I am 32 weeks pregnant and still I worry.  This morning I woke up after a restless night of sleep, Eric came over to me and asked how I felt and the first thing I said is “Peanut hasn’t moved yet”.  He smiled and reminded me that I didn’t sleep all night from coughing so I kept him up and he’s just sleeping in.  I realize I will worry every day until our son is in my arms.  And that I will have a whole new list of things that I will worry about once that day comes.  I’m so very thankful that I have a partner in life to remind me to stop worrying, even if I still do it.  I hope that by time we are trying for a second child I worry less; if not I know it will be okay because I have a great man by my side.