Our Big Move

I have written and re-written this post several times now trying to figure out how to not receive negative comments, but frankly I realize that’s not possible. When I left my small hometown I never dreamed I’d come back to raise a family there, but here we are gearing up to move there and hopefully get ahead in life again. Now this decision was especially hard because of Jordan–our sweet, sensitive little boy whom we share 50/50 with his mom currently. We’ve toyed with the idea of moving for almost 2 years now and after many long nights of discussions decided that it really will be the best thing for our WHOLE family. Before I get too much more into this I need to address a few comments we’ve already have directed at us thus far:

‘How can you just abandon Jordan like that?’–We are NOT abandoning Jordan, we have been fighting for him and hoped he would be making the big move with us but things don’t always work out how you want it to, so we are going with plan B. We have literally mapped out a way to still get to see him 50% of the time. We have calendars filled with red mark of who’s house he will be at and for how long and who is in charge of transportation.  We’ve already figured out a way to fly us to him or him to us monthly plus breaks, summer and holidays. We will make sure he knows that we are not leaving him but that we are trying to create a better life for him and us and the one we are currently living now is not what we want him and his brothers to think is normal.

‘Who’s going to take care of Jordan?’–…..He has a mother, she has helped raise him thus far and even if our parenting styles are not similar she is his mother AND once again he will still be staying with us on our time.

‘Did you even think about Jordan before making this decision?’— Of course we did!! Jordan spends more time with me than either of his biological parents so this subject is very near and dear to my heart. Of course we thought about him, but we also realized it’s better to show him to fight for a better life then live in a depressing state. (I’ll explain more on this in a bit) I have broken down crying while packing up boxes because he was my first child, he made me a mom first and it kills me to think about all the things we will miss out on but I know this is the right choice.

 

 

There has been a few other comments but these three are the main ones we get and the ones that really bug me. I’ve cried over this and even prayed for a sign that this is the right thing to do because of course we worry. We worry something with happen and we won’t be here for him, we worry that someone bad may come into his life and we won’t be there to protect him, we worry that he won’t go to a good school, eat healthy food, like his clothes, etc. WE ARE HIS PARENTS, we worry about everything with him just like we do with Ashton and soon Poppyseed.

Here’s the other thing, we only have a one year plan for our move, our goal is to go to Idaho, live with my parents, tackle debt then reassess our situation. IF things are not going well there or here for Jordan we will do what is right for ALL of us. Right now we are both paying off debt that was collected during our previous marriages, student loans and of course regular bills. In order to do this I work from home because daycare cost too much and we have ZERO family here to help out; so Eric works 10-12 hour days, which means even on the weeks we have Jordan he doesn’t get to see him except for when he wakes up and goes to bed, if that. This is also the only time Eric gets to see me or Ashton.  Not only that, he works in a job that leaves him drained and unsatisfied, we make enough money to get by and nothing else. We ask for memberships to local Zoo’s and Parks as gifts, that way we can afford to take the kids out but the reality is our kids are stuck inside a tiny two bedroom apartment watching their parents struggle to survive.

We were given the opportunity to get ahead.  There is a job lined up for Eric once we get there, where he will make the same amount of money but work less AND get weekends off. There’s also space, time and support for me to grow my home business as well as possibly open a physical shop to sell our products. There is a support system of grand parents, aunts, uncles and friends to help with our growing family AND help us go on a date–we have gone on ONE, yes O N E date since having Ashton. Our second date night was on his one year birthday and only because my parents flew in to Arizona.

What all this also means is a better family life for us.  Yes all of us, including Jordan because now the time we do have with him, he will get to actually see his dad and go do fun things with us and see what it’s like for us all to be happy and not worn out and irritated. We are making sacrifices now to better us later. It’s scary and at times makes me want to puke but I trust Eric’s decision to move us, I trust that this is all happening for a reason and I trust that this really is the best thing for ALL of us.

By moving we have the opportunity to make more money, pay off debt, have a support system, get better family time, get better one on one time, and show our kids that life isn’t about working at a crappy job and hating life.  So before you start making us feel bad about our choice know that it was not an easy choice to make and that your comments are not welcomed. We hope that it all ends up working out in our favor and we get him full time but realize that may never happen. And at the one year mark of our move plan to sit down and decide if we made the right choice or if we need to move back.

XoXo,

Spencer

 

 

 

Continue Reading

Our Trip to the Children’s Museum.

Thursday morning we were surprised by a knock on our door telling us we had to be out of our apartment for the day while they cut out the ceiling for the new AC unit. We knew this was going to be happening but did not know when so you can imagine our surprise when we were all still in a night clothes. I had just laid Ashton down for his morning nap and Eric was getting ready to leave for work. I asked for them to give us a few minutes to pack stuff up and figure out where to go for the day, after all it has been well into the the 100 here so hanging out at the park isn’t the most ideal thing plus not something that could fill up our day. 

I called my mom back in Idaho trying think of ideas that would help make the crazy morning turn into a little calmer day. Ashton’s godmother invited us to hang out at her house while she was at work but a one bedroom apartment isn’t very entertaining to a 4 year old. My mom has been looking into getting a pass to an indoor exhibit for Jordan for his birthday and suggested the Children’s Museum here in Arizona, she wanted me to check it out and let her know if they family pass for the year was worth the money or not. So after a pit stop to get ourselves put together and eat we headed to the Museum.

It cost $22.00 to get myself and Jordan in, Ashton was of course free. For starters when I looked at it online I like that they fully supported moms to breastfeed and even offered a little nook area on the third floor if you were wanting a little more privacy. We did end up using the nook before we finished up for the day and I really liked that it was like a tiny hide away, there were books, toys and a small bean bag for Jordan to distract himself with while I fed his brother. They even had a bottle warmer in there if you needed it.  

IMG_2296

IMG_2300

When you walk in there is a giant cage like tower for the kids to climb and play on that goes all the way up to the third story. We did not get to try it out due to Ashton sleeping in his stroller and Eric not being there to watch and help Jordan up it but it will be something on our list to do when we go again. When I heard it was a museum I did not really know what to expect seeing as most of the ones I went to just had things to look at. Here you get to play with everything. Each floor had different play areas for kids to interact and explore. I did enjoy that there were so many workers there, they helped explain how certain things worked seeing as there was no signs but encourage children to use their imagination. 

IMG_2291IMG_2286

IMG_2295

IMG_2298IMG_2293

They have a few classrooms too for crafts with your little ones, there is even a portion for kids 3 and under only where you little ones can learn and discover without the worry of them being trampled by a big kid. Most of the exhibits were really hands on and I liked that I saw staff going around and wiping stuff down through out the day. We spent a few hours there and both kids were wore out by the end. It was a good way to let the kids explore and interact with other kids and it kept us out of the AZ heat which is what I really wanted. I don’t think we’d use a year pass just because I could see Jordan becoming bored of it but it will be a good go to when we are wanting out the house but to stay cool. 

         How do you beat the summer heat with your kids?

 

 

Continue Reading