For those of you that have not read any of my previous post when I was 23 I had a heart attack scare. And by scare I mean I went in for chest pain and a stomach ache and woke up laying in an ambulance with blood all over me. Yeah that happened. At that point in my life I was doing everything I could to stay afloat. I worked four jobs and was going to two colleges. I refused to admit my marriage was failing and just kept putting everything on me. I had to fix it because I created it. I was sort of right with this. I did create it. I literally was stressing myself to point I was killing my body. I wasn’t myself and I was defiantly not who I wanted to be. After a few months of trying several different medicines that only made me feel worse I turned to meditation. I switched to a different doctor and she was the first to mention that maybe it wasn’t my body failing me but me failing it. She recommend some books and suggested I really start to focus on myself.
The two books she mentioned were
Both of these books I still reference back to when I start to feel myself getting scattered and overwhelmed. I highly suggest reading them if you’re looking to be more connected to yourself and others. Both have meditation techniques in them that are perfect for beginners. If you’re not ready to commit to meditation yet but think you might want to try it out don’t worry I’ll be starting a new series on my blog all about it. This will not only help me stay on track but hopefully help you when you’re at your wits end.
Meditation: Part One
Lets start with the basics.
You don’t need fancy pillows, candles, positions etc. You just need a quiet spot where you can get comfortable but not fall asleep. ( If you do fall asleep you just got yourself a free nap) When I started I would do it anywhere around my house. Sometimes I would lay down, other times I was sitting. I always made sure I wasn’t too hot or too cold. Also you don’t have to close your eyes if you don’t want to. I always thought you had to, and I do now but starting out it was too hard and frustrating.
Once you find your spot (laying down or sitting) start with basic breathing. Focus on your breath but don’t change it. Let it be how it already is.
Don’t get frustrated when your mind starts to jump from thought to thought. THIS WILL HAPPEN. Be aware of the thought then let it go.
After you focus on your breath for a while begin taking slow deep breathes. Something I was taught was to breath in a five count and breath out in a five count. Also to help keep me focused on my breathing in one class we were taught to focus on the tip of your nose where you feel your breath enter and leave your body. Again when a thought comes to your mind acknowledge it then let it go. Don’t get fluster or upset.
When you are focusing on your breathing let each breath fill your whole body. It will take a while but soon you will feel yourself becoming lighter. You’ll be more aware of sensations that go on in your body that you normally are too busy to sense.
Start with just this for a week or so. I honestly did this for a month, I had a really hard time shutting my brain off-I still do. Don’t think you have to do it for long periods of time either. I started doing this for ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes at night. It was perfect for my busy schedule and didn’t overwhelm me. This may seem like it wont work or that it’s easy. Just give it a try and see how in control of your mind you really are. I quickly realized I had zero control of my mind. Some days I still don’t but that IS okay. I’m off to go meditate for my ten minutes. Let me know if you tried it out. How easy was it for you to turn your mind off? Did you notice one thought kept coming back?
Tags: journey, lifestyle, meditation, motherhood, moving on, part one, transformation, what I've learned