Hello again, It’s me…Spencer.

Where do I even begin… obviously it has been a few months since I’ve posted anything on here and there are multiple reasons why that I’m sure you yourself have gone through yourself. Lets start with the big thing that happened in January. 

Yep, we’re expecting our second little one in October and could not be more excited about it. If you recall in December I shared how we had started trying and thought we were going to have a wonderful Christmas morning announcement for our families only to be greeted with aunt flow over a week late… so I told myself to not stress it, let it happen and well, it happened because right before our trip to Idaho to see my family I had this urge to pull out a handy dandy test and check. I literally woke up, went to the bathroom and peed on the stick then crawled back into bed and told Eric that I took a test and was pretty sure it was negative but just had this urge to do it, he looked at me a little annoyed because those things aren’t exactly free BUT 5 minutes later I walked back into the bathroom and saw the positive pregnancy test. The next day I started my long journey of morning sickness. Which leads to my second reason I’ve been MIA, all day sickness and rapid weight loss was happening with this pregnancy and nothing all natural helped, my doctor, who is simply amazing compared to my last one, kept giving me samples of the only pill I trusted and worked but my insurance wouldn’t cover. Luckily it faded this week right as I near my 20 week mark just like he thought it would and I finally feel normal as long as I graze on food all day and chug water like there is no tomorrow. 

Now the other reason I’ve been MIA. Simply put, I’m in the process of growing-yes physically but more importantly spiritually, I’m not talking about religion I’m talking about expanding my mind and soul with all that there is in this wonderful world. I’ve been really getting back into my yoga and meditation, I’ve been trying to pick my studies back up–something I don’t talk about a lot but feel the only way I’ll succeed is if I’m truly honest with myself and all of you guys about it. I’m currently studying chakracology, I use to talk more about chakras and all my ‘hippy thoughts’ as my dad calls it but after weird comments shut that part of me down and only showed it to my family and close friends. My ultimate goal is to own a shop one day where I can help heal people with natural remedies and crystals and also sell the items I create. I see my kids playing in the background and my afternoons spent schooling them. I’m really learning who I am as I dive deeper into motherhood and myself. 

So with all of this going on I put blogging on the back burner because I wasn’t sure how everyone would react with me being 100% me and sharing my daily struggles. What I really want to focus on is honesty, I want my site to be honest. I want you to come here and read my posts and know it’s from the heart, I want you to feel comfortable to reach out and tell me about your bad days and your good ones. Or ask questions or give input (when asked, no one likes judgmental comments), I want to build a community where we can be us. In all our weirdness, wild ways and never feel judged. I realize I will lose some followers and friends with this new change in direction but I also know I will be gaining some new amazing ones.  Here is a few photos of what has been going on these last few months. Also please tell me if there is any topic you’d love for me to discuss more on here. 

XOXO,

Spencer

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“Hi Spencer I saw your post…” What I do when I receive these messages

First let me just say that if you work for any company or product where you sell things (ItWorks, Younique, Young Living, Beach Body, etc.) don’t think this post is about you UNLESS you do the following and if you do, do the following please be prepared for a rather sarcastic response from me. I would also like to point out that I sell young living, I have friends who are apart of ItWorks, Youngue and Beach Body and fully love and support them because they go about it THE RIGHT WAY. –Also please note it’s 6 am while I’m writing this and I may have just received my fourth message that start out like this…

 

‘Hi Spencer! I saw you post (they don’t reference which post which is a clear indication they didn’t actually read my post) and just wanted to tell you that if you’re tired of being –insert the following: tired, puffy skin, looking like a mombie, etc–then I have great news for you!’

There is generally more about where I can find out more information and to message them if I’m interested. I generally ignore or trash this messages because they aren’t genuine and I can tell that they are just copying and pasting the same message to multiple people without taking the time to really get to know me or to see if they even have a product I am interested in. As I mentioned before I have lots of awesome moms who do it the right way AND even if their product is not for me I will recommend them to fellow friends because I do trust them and I know they will take time out of their day to give each client a proper conversation and not be pushy.

Also my biggest pet peeve is that with these messages you basically make me feel like a pile of sh*t. So now I’m going to make sure you know that, it may sound harsh but there are women out there who don’t need that extra pressure that you unknowingly put on them. I’m lucky enough that for the most part I am confident in my appearance and when I want to change something I have a list of awesome boss moms who I will contact instead of these ‘Hi Spencer’ messages.

The point of my rant (see above) is this, if you are going to message someone about a product and copy and past a text without getting to know me or doing a little bit of research on me and make me feel like a pile of sh*t I’m going to reply back with sarcastic responses such as ‘Thank you for your message (I still have manners) however I love being a mombie with bags under my eyes and less than perfect beach body, I am sorry that my feed prompted you to take pity of me as a basic worn out house mom but I am pretty happy with my life and have to resources when needed to fix my current state of appearance when I want to.’

Okay that may be a little harsher than I will reply but honestly some days it might not be. If I would have received these messages right after having Ashton I honestly don’t think my hormone enraged self could handle it. Some days even now I can’t because I’m still adjusting to my new “mom bod” and breastfeeding as made my weight go up and down more than it did in high school BUT for the most part I’m okay with it because I have this cute squishy baby that made it all worth it. I’ll I’m saying is before you hit send really think if your approach is acceptable, look at it from their point of view, ask yourself if the text would make you feel down or bad about yourself and if it does, DON’T SEND IT.

Mini rant over! And to all my lades who do sell ItWorks, Beach Body, Yongique, Young Living, etc AND do it the right way, I love you guys!!!

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Hello 2017!

I know I’m not the only one trying to figure out where this year went, some days I forget I had a kid! Okay not really but it does feel like just yesterday I was pregnant and counting down the days till Ashton would be joining us. And yet here he is almost NINE months old!?!? I need a glass of wine just thinking about that… Lately I’ve been reflecting on who I am now vs. who I was before baby and even while I was pregnant. I realize overtime each year I’m a completely different person although my core values and personality stay the same. Two years ago I was obsessed with yoga, meditating, hiking and listening to records on repeat all weekend long while I attempted to remember what I learn in art class. A year ago I was still enjoying these things but I also was busy with weddings, baby bump photos and creating a home for our family. This year it was all about Ashton, lets be honest, he stole the show this year and has taken up 90% of our house’s attention. I tell him he’s lucky he’s cute.

Although I loved every day of ‘the year of Ashton’ I’m also excited to do big things in 2017 for me again. I know that you never really get your freedom back after having kids until they move out but even then you still will worry about them.  BUT my goal is to balance family and personal goals better this year. So to help keep my accountable and hopefully motivate anyone else to follow through with goals here is a few of mine for 2017.

Learn French: A few years ago my mom got my pa and me Rosetta Stone to learn French together and lets just say neither of us have done a thing but download it… SO my goal is to start practicing it for at least 30 minutes, 3-4 days a week this year. I know life happens so I feel that 3-4 days a week will be more than doable.

Finish my Chakra training: I enrolled in classes before I got pregnant (yes BEFORE!) and still haven’t finished my training. I found so many excuses and reasons not to this year that I eventually put all my school work in a box and just ignored it.

Expand the Shop: As most of you know I own a shop with my awesome mom and we create handmade jewelry as well as baby and toddler accessories. I love seeing how far we have came in the short time we’ve been open but I know we can do more. We are already in the works of switching to a new website and adding a new line to the chaos that is us and I’m so excited to bring more of my passions to the shop for everyone to enjoy.

Mindfulness: This is a BIG one for me, I want to bring mindfulness back into our house and stay consistent with it. I go in spurts where I meditate with the boys, practice yoga and journal but nothing is consistent. Since Jordan is from a split family it is especially important to create a calm, peaceful environment as well as help him understand the emotions he is feeling. So I’m hoping to create some sort of routine that we can do to help calm his social anxieties as well as help me keep a peaceful attitude towards each day.

Education: Another big thing I’m wanting to bring into our house is education,  we plan on homeschooling Ashton and any future kids and are hoping to one day do the same for Jordan. We are already seeing him slip through the cracks at his current school and as a parent it is rather frustrating and heart breaking since he is such a bright child. This topic is a hard one since I am only his step mom and can only fight for so much when it comes to his well being, however I can still help him when he is with us so I want to create a curriculum that we do at home together to make sure he doesn’t get lost in the school systems. (Any fellow homeschooling moms I would love tips and support information on this!)

Finally the last big thing I want to work on in 2017 is letting go of stress, doubt and fear. Those three things have held me back from doing the items listed above plus 20 other things. I’ve read handfuls of books and articles that have helped me get the courage to even start this blog and now I need to utilize the tools I have and create the life I’ve always wanted.

What are you goals for 2017? How are you going to create your best year yet?

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My extra emotional Christmas

The holiday season has been extra emotional this year. With it being Ashton’s first Christmas, my first Christmas without my extended family and the first Christmas without my great grandmother who passed earlier this year. The cherry on top of my emotional holiday season is I thought I was pregnant again…

We’ve been trying to expand our family the last couple of months and this month I was late. I tried not to get too excited because I know that your cycle changes a lot after baby, also conceiving while breastfeeding lowers your chances and having two kids make intimate time next to impossible, so I TRIED not to get excited, but I did. I put all my excitement into the possibility of it happening, we even agreed to wait and take a test on Christmas morning because how special would that be and what an amazing memory.

Then the night before Christmas Eve my lovely monthly friend showed up…I broke down and cried in the bathroom until I heard the kids laughing and pulled myself back together. I sent a text to Eric even though we were in the same room and told him not to bring it up because I did not want to be an emotional mess in front of the boys.

While the boys were busy playing and Eric was getting his ‘nerd on’ I tried to distract myself by scrolling through social media–worst idea ever. I was happy to see so many pregnancy announcements and all the beautiful growing bumps but oh my gosh did my heart ache at the same time. I reminded myself to look at each announcement and picture and let it fill me with hope for us. I know it will happen when it’s suppose to, I know it’s harder now that it was when we tried for Ashton and I know that I need to start weaning Ashton to help my chances but I’m also not ready to let go of that yet. It’s such a special bond for us and when we are both ready it will happen. For now I’m just going to trust my body and the universe and just relax. The boys are only this age for such a short time so I need to enjoy it while I can. 

All of us on Christmas Day 2016

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I Was a Bad Mom Today and Will be Tomorrow…

Okay first off if you haven’t seen the movie Bad Mom staring my girl crush Mila Kunis you need to do it, trust me! I’ve watched this movie going on 5 times now and I will probably watch it another again before 2016 is over. Crush crushes aside this movie made me feel good about being a bad mom. 

Basically there are so many rules and expectation for us moms now that it’s impossible to keep up or do it all. Some how we aresuppose to vaccinate our kids but not vaccinate them, feed them organic all natural food but allow them to have cookies and candy whenever they want, discipline our kids but don’t discipline them TOO much aka don’t spank them or slap their hand in public or you’ll be turned in, breastfeed them but not in public and if you do give a bottle heavens forbid it’s formula because clearly you don’t care about your kid if you’re feeding it… please tell me you getting my sarcasm here.

Needless to say it’s really easy to be classified as a bad mom these days and I was guilty of worrying about it. I’m a breastfeeding mom who disciplines our kids, I cook mostly organic food for our kids but I also order in…a lot and you best believe I buy pre-made cookie dough and have candy in my house because mama needs sugar. My house is always half cleaned, my “work clothes” are whatever I fell asleep in the night before and some how I do laundry daily but someone’s favorite shorts or shirt never make it in a load. 

Today I was a bad mom because I made our 5 year old throw away his stickers he had just gotten two days ago as a gift. Yep, I’m such a b*tch or at least I’m sure he thought that, except I like to believe he’s fool ???(remove) language isn’t that advanced and I was more of a doo doo head. Lets back pedal a little on why we ended up with stickers in the trash and tears before 9 am. Along with the stickers the boys got race cars to share and we’re still working on sharing somedays in this house. I usually start with a warning when I see the oldest take both cars away and try and sneak off, it’s something like “Buddy…where are you going?” followed by “nowhere…” “why’d you take your brothers car away?” “He gave it to me.” Ugh toddler lies. Even though I just watched him walk over and take the car away from his brother I calmly explain that it didn’t look like his little brother gave it to him and that he needs to share. Followed by my new go to “if your brother took away all your toys how will you feel?” Of course this works for a few minutes but soon it happens again, plus Ashton’s a  (remove) crying is usually a good sounding alarm that someone took his toy. By his third warning Jordan is sent to sit in his room on his chair and think about why he feels he needs all the toys and doesn’t want to share. This honestly works better than I thought it would however not always.

Now lets get to the stickers, while I cooked breakfast and fed Ashton his pureed carrots before nap time I asked Jordan to play in his room so that I could see him while I cooked and so he’d stay away from the hot stove. He asked to play with his new coloring book and stickers-God I hate STICKERS!- so we did a refresh of sticker rules; Do not stick them on anything or anyone without asking. Stick the stickers in the sticker book and no where else. 

Alas I put Ashton down for his nap and go to get Jordan for breakfast and my heart broke. I had to pull out bad mom me before 9 amalready? Damn…. Stickers cover him and his table and chair. I ask what the rules are with stickers and I can see it in his eyes he is in trouble. So following along with the rules he then had to take each sticker off his chair, table and self and throw them all away. Of course there was tears and the dread shaky voice of ‘why?’ and the answer is always changing but comes down to this. I want to raise kids that respect the things they own, that know the value of materialistic things and don’t take them for granted. My parents did this with me and I think that is one reason why I take so much pride in the little amount of stuff we have. We are in no means rich, we classify more with the poor, paycheck to paycheck class so buying tons of toys for our kids isn’t realistic, plus they don’t need that many toys. 

Yesterday I was a bad mom because I slapped Ashton’s hand to teach him ‘No’ means don’t touch. Yes it breaks my mom heart when after the third slap he cries out of frustration but on the flip side I don’t want to have to get rid of everything in our house. I also don’t want him trying to eat Christmas lights or pine cones…. BUT as much as it breaks my heart to do all of this guess what, I say No and Ashton stops now, admittedly he still grabs it after he looks at me and laughs but we’re getting there. Jordan later asked to play with a different sticker book and said ‘I won’t put them on the table or chair only my book’.

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