My hips don’t lie, I had a baby.

Oh the mom bod, nothing like summer heat to make you realize you had a baby. In my case I had him two months ago and like him I’m squishy with a side of rolls. A few years ago I would have freaked when I realized it was bathing suit season, I come from a… lets say “curvy” family. This was especially hard for me to embrace when I stopped having a super fast metabolism and started putting weight on in college. I remember graduating for high school and being thrilled I had finally hit 100 pounds only to graduate from college at 160. A lot of the weight gain was due to fast food, beer, stress and a bad marriage.

After my divorce I really focused on my health, most importantly my mental health. I was tired of beating myself up over my thick thighs and belly pouch I named my bean burrito. I read a lot of books, Brene Brown was and still is my go to author when I feel my inner demons coming out to poke fun. I went for a run or walk every night, meditated every morning and eventually it happened, I didn’t care what my body looked like, because I was happy and felt good. 

I met Eric and he helped me keep the feel good vibes about myself alive and well. Then we decided to start a family, I remember worrying I’d lose the battle against my inner demons and hate my body through out my pregnancy. Luckily they didn’t stand a chance, I’m stronger now than I was back then. (You can read about my pregnancy and feeling “sexy” here)

Growing a baby and having a baby are two different things, when I was growing one I loved seeing my body change and make room for him. Then I had him and remember feeling so puffy the first two weeks and still looking 6 months pregnant. I’ll admit if you asked me back then if I would be caught dead in a bikini I would have laughed in your face and shoved more cookies in my mouth. Then it happened, while visiting my family back home we were out shopping and my mom said ‘Let pick up a swimsuit so you can swim with the kids.’ (My nieces and nephew) Of course we went to Target, I browsed the racks and didn’t know if I was suppose to wear a one piece now since I am a mom but honestly hate the tan lines. So I grabbed tops I thought would be easy to breastfeed in and a cute bottom that I normally wouldn’t buy since it was a “skirt” but liked the extra support it had for my hips which still pop in and out after giving birth.

I tried on a handful of tops and two bottoms, I realized my mental state about my body was far better than I thought it was because when I looked at myself in the mirror I didn’t see the stretch marks, loose skin or extra rolls. I saw an amazing body that carried my son for 9 months. Yes I have a mom bod now, but it’s the most comfortable body I’ve ever been in. 

I did not edit or do filters on either one of the pictures. 

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I had to post the one of Ashton and myself both failing at taking a good picture because bad photos are just as good. unnamed



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