Yes, you read that correct. I am expecting a baby and no ring on my finger. July 2015 my wonderful partner in life and I decided to make the conscious decision to bring a child into the world and our lives. Yes, I see the looks I get when I try to squeeze past someone and they notice me ring-less. I see the checkout lady looking from my bump, to my hand, to my bump and back to my hand again. I realize I may look like someone who did not plan this and is just going with the flow. I’m in my late 20’s now I have learned to not care.
If you’ve been following me then you are aware of the fact that I am divorced, my life partner Eric is also divorced and has a wonderful son. We fell in love and we did it fast. Which, coming from our past, was a surprise all on its own. Before I met him I realized that I may be alone forever and was rather okay with that. I liked my “hippy ways” and I knew my sarcasm was something I would never be able to get rid of–something that had hurt my marriage and past relationships. I knew I love like its my last day on earth and that in order for me to feel complete in a relationship I needed someone who loved like that. I was on my path of looking into adoption because I always wanted a child and to create a family. Eric was getting out of a marriage as well; one that had similar issues as mine. He too had tried dating again and was on his own path of being with just himself and trying his best to be a great dad.
When our paths crossed I remember I could not keep my eyes off him. I was so drawn to this one person. He’d smile and my stomach would flip, his laugh made my body tingle and when he would look at me I felt my skin turn three shades.
I fell in love.
We will get married one day, we have no doubt in our mind on this. We often lay in bed and one of us will say “Will you marry me one day?” to which the other always replies “In a heart beat.” I find what we have very beautiful and strange. I married young to my high school sweetheart, I followed the path I thought I was suppose to follow and did everything right. Even though my ex and I were together over eight years I never had the connection I have now.
I can walk into a room and he reads me. He loves my sarcasm, encourages my hippy ways and hobbies. I get spoiled with love daily and the promise of forever. We have no paper bonding us together but we have love. We wake up each morning and choose each other.
So yes, we are expecting a baby and not married or engaged. We plan on trying again a year after our son is born. Some days the looks cast my way hurt. To say I haven’t got red in the face or felt like crying would be a lie. But all of the looks melt away the moment I see his face or feel our son kick.