I forgot how to Selfie

#selfie

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Okay I don’t know a lot of people who have NEVER taken a selfie before, the word selfie was the word of the year in 2013 so clearly a lot of people know about it and what it is. A selfie can be several different things; from ‘look at my new haircut’ to ‘#revengebody’…both I have been caught doing. I then went/tried doing a year doing no selfies but then snap chat became a thing and I ended up caving on my year long ban a little earlier than I’d like to admit. My point is I use to selfie then I had a baby and my selfies turned to mini baby photo shoots and close up of small toes and fingers. (Who doesn’t love that though?) Then the other day I was feeling cute which with a 4 month old is rare right now so I thought I’d take a photo of myself but as soon as the camera was in my face I went blank. I felt awkward, I started to think I was being vain because why would a mom take a selfie to post and share with others? Shouldn’t I be busy raising kids and cleaning the house but instead I’m taking a selfie?

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When my child is in the photo with me these thoughts don’t run through my mind, neither does that thoughts of ‘my teeth are yellow’, ‘I look tired’, ‘why is my face so puffy?’, When I’m holding either of the kids for a photo I feel beautiful, I smile my biggest and most ridiculous smile possible but as soon as I put them down I forgot how to selfie. I don’t love myself any less without them there but I lose my shine, my sparkle. I think this is in part to me not knowing what type of person I am at this point and time. The pre-baby me is still here but now there is also this “mom” me and sometimes the two don’t see eye to eye. I read and heard numerous stories of moms who slowly moved out of the spot light of life as well as the camera and later regret that all their family photos don’t contain an image of them. So in an effort to make my future self happy (as well as my pre-baby self) I’m going to make sure I take lots of selfies with my kids, my significant other, friends and family as well as the occasional solo selfie because I deserve it too and when I’m old and wrinkly I know I will be happy to have these photos to show my great great great grandchildren how cool I use to be.

XOXO

Spencer

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