Balance… or lack there of.
We are slowly creeping up on one year of living in Idaho which also means my sweet Rai baby is going to be a big bad one year old! HOW?! Our goal was/is to be in our house by September which is also when we moved here from Arizona. I desperately need to do a house update on here but balancing life right now has been a huge struggle. We knew moving into my parents upstairs while we house hunted would be a BIG adjustment but we also thought we’d end up buying a ready to move in house, instead we bought a house with zero foundation and months of hard labor needed before we can even move in. When we do move in our upstairs will still need to be finished but again that’s a post for another day.
Lets get back to the whole reason I decided to even hop on here and post. Balance. It’s something I know is vital for life but something I put off and ignore. I know that the days I wake up, wash my face, brush my teeth and throw real clothes on (or at least different yoga pants) I’m a better me. Just like I know if I limit certain play activities, do our homeschooling during Rai’s nap and feed us meals with lots of veggies we all are much happier. But do I do that?… nope.
Balance goes hand in hand with routine for me. I thrive with routine, my boys thrive with routine and my husband begs me to keep us all on a routine but when you’re sharing a house with three other adults, (i’ll explain the third person momentarily) its freaking hard to even remember to wash my face. And no, I’m not joking.
If we back up a little something I haven’t talked much about is that right after we moved here in September and welcomed little poppy my grandmother surprised us all with divorce papers. My grandfather was obviously upset seeing as he’s 80 and thought everything was set and figured out for him. Worst of all he had to sell the house he built for him and his wife to spend their final days in and he had to do it quickly for my grandmother showed us all a very ugly side of her. This meant my grandfather was now homeless with all of his money missing or tied up until the divorce was settled. So my amazing parents built him a room in their house and welcomed him in. They’ve been helping him handle his divorce, divide assets, etc which is not easy task after that many years of being together. So here we are, my mom, dad, grandfather, myself, Eric, Jordan, Ashton and Rai plus the little bean I’m growing in my belly living under one roof.
With essentially three different families living under one roof there is all three different lifestyles trying to mold and mess together and basically survive a tricky situation. This also mean our kids get woken up a lot on accident, different parenting styles being introduced and very limited space for anyone. Finding balance and routine in all of this has been so difficult for me I’ve broken down several times crying. I miss having a some what set schedule and knowing how my days were going to play out. I realize there is that haze of nostalgia when I think of the old days because I know living in Arizona was hard. I remember hating the nosy neighbors, constant living hazards in our apartment, the heat–oh my gosh do I remember dreading summers because we were stuck inside 24/7! But nostalgia has a tricky way of putting rose colored glasses on and saying ‘look don’t you remember this? this was so nice why’d you leave it?’
So here I am closing in on a year and clinging to my sanity like a magician to his party tricks. I miss having a home, having my things-the majority of our items are still in storage- my space, my routine, my own coffee cups, etc. I’ve written down lists, ideas, goals and motivations for the new house. I am so hopefully and excited for our new adventure as home owners, farm owners and newlywed life.
How do you find balance in the chaos life throws at you? I’d love to know.