So I told you guys I would post about the birth of our beautiful son Ashton Ren Dubberly and here it is. If you are mom to be and it’s your first, fare warning I am not sugar coating ANYTHING because I wish someone would have told me this about child birth.
As many of you know Ashton is my only biological child (I have a step son Jordan whom I love as if he was my own blood), since Ashton is my first I tried to go into motherhood with an open mind. I’ve never judged a mom for the way they decided to have their loved one enter the world and I’ll never judge a mom for the way they raise their child. (Okay-if you’re just plain not taking care of your child I will admittedly judge a little but mostly feel pain for that sweet little human you’re neglecting).
My pregnancy was pretty easy once I got past the all day sickness, I loved being pregnant (Yep I’m one of those), around the last two months my doctor kept informing us that Ashton was measuring big (keep this part in mind for later), he also LOVED pointing out how big his head was…hearing this each time made me squeeze my legs a little tighter together. With all this talk of how big he was and the fact that he had already started moving into position our doctor kept telling us to watch for warning signs of him coming early. We ended up having me start my maternity leave earlier than planned due to all this warning and all day Braxton Hicks.
Fast forward to April 7th (one week and a day short of 40 weeks) at my weekly appointment I was informed that I was not dilating, in fact I wasn’t even a dimple and that all the worrying that Ashton would be joining us early were laughable because it looks like he wasn’t wanting to move. We were then informed that I would be scheduled to be induced the following Wednesday two days before I was full term. This was something we did not expect nor did we want. We wanted a natural (or as close to natural) birth as possible. At 12:30 that day I began bouncing on a ball to help get my body to realize it’s time for a baby to come out, I did this for 20-25 minutes while Jordan played in his room. I expected to do this up until they induced me or my water broke. After feeling nothing but the urge to pee I read about nipple stimulation and how that can trigger contraction and help your body naturally get ready for childbirth so while cleaning my breast pump I tried it on (honestly I tried it on for sheer curiosity) it was on less than two minutes before I pictured a cow getting milked and got a little creeped out. So I began putting it away and cleaning it again when I heard it. The pop that I read about followed by the gush of water. At first I thought I had finally peed my pants, something I was sure would happen my whole pregnancy but was gleefully surprised hadn’t, naturally I went into the restroom to see if that was the case. When the liquid didn’t stop coming out it clicked that maybe I should call Eric who had just left for work and have him take me to the hospital. Since we live less than 5 min from the birthing hospital I remained pretty calm, we got a hold of Jordan’s mom to have her pick him up from the hospital, all of this went to plan; as close to a water breaking plan can go that is.
For some reason I thought when you go to the hospital and said ‘my water broke’ that there would be more of a…panic? Excitement? Something other than ‘Did you pre-check yourself in?’-Lady there is liquid filling up the super absorbent pad I’m wearing so that I didn’t ruin my car and of course I pre-checked in! Instead we calmly said yes which was followed by ‘Please sign here, and here…initial here then you can have a seat and someone will be with you.’ What the eff?! Do you realize a tiny human is trying to come out of my body right now? However I stayed calm and I did not sit because I was 90% sure if I sat down all the fluid in my pad would splash out and hit the receptionist and fellow expecting moms doing their hospital tours and run.
Finally we get moved into our pre-labor room which basically means we’re going to check to make sure the liquid coming out of you is not pee. While we waited on the test results I sat their in my soaked pad texting my family to inform them where we were at in the process of having a baby. Finally our nurse returns to inform us that I haven’t just been peeing my pants for the last hour and that my water did break. However, I’m not dilating and they would like to push meds to speed up the process (please keep in mind that this was my choice and you have the right to make whatever choice you want while you are welcoming a new life into the world.) to which we replied no. We know the risk of infection begins to go up once your water breaks but we also know that only happens when you get close to the 24 hour mark. The nurse on call at this point and our doctor did not agree with us, in fact they both walked out on us. I, of course break down in tears, between the nerves, hormones and excitement of it all, I never expected that. We then get moved to the labor room to monitor Ashton and me. We walked laps around that place for hours then around 10 pm they began pushing for a C-section, again we said no unless it was medically necessary to which my doctor left, he actually left me there with my legs up in the air because I wasn’t on board to do a C-section and he wasn’t on call. After he left a new nurse came on shift and BOY did I love her, she was honest and compassionate which is all we wanted.
With this new nurse also came the news that we needed to start getting contractions going because they had stopped and I wasn’t dilating AT ALL. So we did laps around the hospital followed by bouncing on a ball and then nipple stimulation. Those laps did nothing for me but dang did the ball and Eric rubbing my nipples (he volunteered for that one) get the contractions going. I went from almost nothing to 7 within minutes. Now here is where I’m really not going to sugar coat this so fair warning for new moms to be. I started puking, screaming and at one point reached behind my back and somehow put Eric in a choke hold. The stress of everything leading up to this made my cool head go out the window. Say hello to epidural-something I did not want but between vomiting and passing out managed to ask for. With contractions happening and me dilating they told us all to get a little rest and let my body do what it wanted to do, this was around midnight. Around 3 am they came in and informed me I needed to be moved to an incline so that my contractions don’t stop again and that labor should be happening soon. I was excited and nervous so I looked to Eric for some reassurance…then I became really nervous. There he was, ghost white and sweaty, I felt like puking again and even the nurse asked if he was okay. After a few quick exits we discovered that Eric had gotten food poisoning. YES FOOD POISONING!!
Now this is where my memory does get a little foggy so I’m not real sure on the time of when all of this took place but I remember him telling me he was going to run home and take anything he could find to help him ummm stop dying on the inside. (We live less than 5 minutes from the hospital) luckily Rachael was there to help me stay calm but soon they were getting me in position and telling me to practice pushing. This is when I lost it, I cried and begged them to wait because Eric wasn’t back yet, I kept telling them ‘This isn’t the plan, we have to wait’. Rachael kept calling him and my parents trying to get someone to come calm me down because at this point I was a mess. Ashton started to show early signs of distress and they kept moving me to different positions to keep him safe. They put an oxygen mask on me to make sure we were both getting air due to me passing out and crying. I remember wanting to give up, wanting to do anything possible to just not have this baby right now, then I felt Eric’s hand on me and I opened my eyes and he was there. He just kept saying ‘Look at me sweetie, you got this’ and I did. My parents showed up a few minutes later and the pushing began. Halfway through Eric began to lose his battle with food poising and my mom traded him places. Then they said ‘One more push, one more good push’ and I froze, I looked at my mom and said ‘I can’t do it.’ followed by almost throwing up again and the oxygen mask going back on my face. I was so scared: and overwhelmed and pissed because this was not how it was suppose to happen. Then Eric walked in the room and once again told me I could do this. Ashton joined us at 8:33 am 4/8/16, 6 pounds 12 ounces of joy, the moment they put him on my chest I cried and looked at Eric and said ‘We did it’.
Here’s the good thing about babies, the second he was on my chest and crying I forgot everything that had just happened. I didn’t even want to let go of him so they could clean him up and do all his check ups. I was instantly in love, I fell more in love with Eric and our little family we created. Now, I’m not saying all birth stories will go like this and I’m not trying to scare any new moms to be or anything like that I’m just wanting to let others know that even if your labor is nothing like what you planned you’ll forget most of it. You won’t care the second your little one is in your arms.
Here is a few photos from that day.